2008 DEMOCRAT AGENDA

We've found the top-secret inside schedule (courtesy of one of our Concerned Listeners):

Democratic National Convention, Agenda 2008
7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.
7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.
7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:35 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship.- Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.
8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.
8:15 P.M. Gay Wedding - Barney Frank Presiding.
8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan , Susan Sarandon.
9:00 P.M. Keynote speech, French Pres Jacques Chirac:
Proper etiquette for surrender
9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund
9:30 P.M. Sean Penn: My plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay
9:40 P.M. William Jefferson Clinton: Why I hate the Military
9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented "Truth in Broadcasting" award, by Michael Moore
9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
10:00 P.M. Howard Dean: How George Bush & Donald Rumsfeld
brought down the World Trade Center Towers
10:30 P.M. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton
11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents the Internet
11:15 P.M. John Kerry: Our Troops are War criminals
11:30 P.M. Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton
12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home